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Sweat of a Martyr.

by Daniel Horton

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1.
All of my blessings and nothing to bring you All of my gifts and yet nothing to give I know that i'm called father that's not the issue But I'll cry on my knees till' the work comes in Here's to each scar that I left on my savior Here's to each demon I can't seem to kill Here's one more chance for my faith to find failure Father, I'd say that I won't let you down but I will Licking your blood from my hands Just like the wretch that I am Lord my faith is skin and bone White lies in suicide notes What a feeble farewell To die to myself Lord give me the strength to let go All of my agony is all I can offer Laid at your feet with my sin and my spit Bathing my knees in your blood on this altar But give me a day, and we'll be here again Well I wish I had anything more But all of my nothing is yours Lord my faith is skin and bone White lies in suicide notes What a feeble farewell To die to myself Lord give me the strength to let go Lord I'm nothing I know But I can't kill death on my own So as weak as I am My life's in your hands Lord give me the strength to let go Lord I'm bowed and I've been so for ages No greater burden on grace could I be How I hate that I still find you patient How I hate that I find that you'll still love a wretch such as me
2.
Father I'm clay in your hands Salt on the sad Blood on the hands of the guilty But father I don't understand You call me your friend But all I demand is you kill me Well here come more pitiful words Blood on my shirt Knees to the dirt in devotion I'm hardpressed to call it my curse Foreknown from birth But lord, does it hurt to be hopeless And how could you forgive my flaws And all of the harm that they've caused Father I promise I'll try But I'd still rather die than go on Cause they say that I've grown but I haven't grown enough But I've grown as white as these pills I've been throwing up What good's a reason to live If I'll just want to die? Well father I'm guilty again I know that It's sin I know that you know that I'm broken But Father, I sin just to live So what's to forgive Choking down this ibuprofen Well they say that I'm just a kid Who needs to learn when to give up But if they saw the scars on my wrists Then they'd know that's just what I've done Cause they say that I've grown but I haven't grown enough But I've grown as white as these pills I've been throwing up What good's a reason to live If I'll just want to die? So is it my heart I've despised Or just who's inside I don't know Cause you say you'll use all these failures of mine But you're wasting your time God I know And I'm sure you've got plans for my life You've kept me alive for this long But I'll never know why Cause they say that I've grown but I haven't grown enough But I've grown as white as these pills I've been throwing up What good's a reason to live If I'll just... How could you love me like this? With no reason why
3.
Rags 02:23
All that I am is your demand, Lord I know But I'm hiding my heart in these better man's clothes Hiding my worst with what worth I could bring But I'm just a dog with a bird in my teeth And why, though I'm hopeless, you're holding to me? I don't know. So stumble on home from the whorehouse again High and fat off the faith of better men Meaning in mercy till' death will I cling But worth in the worthless is so hard to see If broken before you is the best I can be In the end Stop my heart, it played it's part, but let it go I can't pay half of the work that you're owed And my lungs burn breath For all of the worthlessness, earning my death When all that I am Ain't enough
4.
Well I'm supposed to walk on water But my ankles seem so wet God I'm sinking in this altar, of my sin and my regret And if your blood is still upon me Then it's mixed into the sweat Dripping on this, chapel floor again My eyes are red and swollen My debt of faith has come due But here I'm standing on the righteousness I've squandered in my youth I hate the man it's made me But my pitying is through God, I'm putting all of it on you Well it's strange to feel these bruises Pain the knees on which I've knelt It's bittersweet to feel the aches I always should have felt I've sworn I'm suicidal But today I die to self Crucify my flesh and failure, till' the cross he bore is one we share And now there is more than teardrops Left puddled on this floor As skin and scales are peeling From these eyes I've claimed were yours And God, I'm so unworthy Just like I was before But whatever of my life that is left is yours.

about

A descent into the maelstrom and learning to let go. Partially inspired by the writings of Paul, and of personal experience.

PLEASE NOTE (Advisory):
The subject matter within contains themes of self harm, suicide, depression, anxiety, and feelings of worthlessness, all from a Christian perspective. If you are uneasy, please read the lyrics before buying or streaming.

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released July 5, 2022

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Daniel Horton Asheville, North Carolina

Hailing from the Appalachian Countryside of North Carolina, Daniel Horton writes music as heartfelt prayers, combining his personal struggle, devout faith, and musings about the modern world into somber yet beautiful Indie Folk music. His sound consists of a mixture of Indie, Folk, and Lofi, presented with warm acoustics and a thick, melancholic atmosphere. ... more

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